


Things we're not good at (and things we are)

by rivalpoet2



Category: Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2017-11-17 23:04:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/554176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivalpoet2/pseuds/rivalpoet2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia and Kalinda's history of misses and hits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things we're not good at (and things we are)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for sweetjamielee's "It's a Lockhart-Gardner Tradition: 2012 Summer Ficathon"  
> Prompted by damelola: "Alicia/Kalinda, the things we're not good at"

Kalinda knows Alicia’s no good at not being good.

So she pushes and keeps pushing, taunts and baits her endlessly with _Stop waiting for people to give you things. Everything you want to be you is you. Alicia, one night, no repercussions._ (Kalinda doesn’t know why she wants it so badly, for Alicia to be a _bad girl_ , just once.)

She thinks of Alicia in the bedroom by herself, Alicia in the kitchen making a pot roast, Alicia in the car dropping Zach and Grace off to school, off to music lessons, off to soccer practice. She thinks of Peter promising Amber Madison _everything_ and of Peter with other women. How many others, she wonders. (At least one, she knows and doesn’t say.)

She wants to see Alicia and Will fucking, a karmic balance in the cosmos to make up for the way Alicia’s been fucked over by Peter, by Glenn Childs, by everyone around her. (She wants to see Alicia fucking.)

*

Alicia knows Kalinda’s no good at talking. But she doesn’t know why she can’t stop asking.

It’s amazing how little Alicia knows about her. She even tells Kalinda that to her face. _Well, what do you want to know?_ And Alicia hadn’t, just hadn’t known where to begin then. _Where is your accent from? How was Catholic school at St. Mary’s? How did you learn to be an investigator? Where do you buy the leather jackets? And the boots? Who is Donna?_

Later, after Roscoe, she’d learnt to prioritize. _Are you gay?_ Alicia knows it doesn’t matter and she says as much. And that’s exactly what she’d told Owen all those years ago when his “best friend” had moved across the country, and when he couldn’t stop crying, and it was one hundred percent true then. (She doesn’t know why it’s not one hundred percent true now.)

*

_Leela, Leela, Leela._ Alicia won’t forget that name. She’d asked once, and Kalinda had answered, for once. But she’d lied.

Alicia knows now that Kalinda’s no good.

*

_Can you do that? No, no, no, no, no_ her head, her gut, her every nerve is screaming. _Lana, Lemond Bishop, F &E Construction, Nick, Canada, guns and cash, I had to run._ Kalinda can see them spilling out, one panicky thought after the other, on a ticker tape flashing across her brain, all the reasons why Alicia had just asked for the impossible.

But her mouth, disconnected from the rest of her, acquiesces. Yes. Kalinda’s not surprised by her body’s betrayal. She’s known, for a long time now, that she’s no good at saying no to Alicia.

*

Alicia wants to say it, but she stops herself. It’s been too long, and she doesn’t know, isn’t ready, isn’t sure if she can do this again, even if she’s the one who asked for all the cards to be put on the table, even though the tequila glasses and the limes and the bartender are at the table right in front of her, almost as if they’d never been gone. (It’s been a long year without tequila, she thinks.)

_It’s your life, you do what you want,_ is what she settles on.

What she wants to tell Kalinda: No matter how flexible you are, Lana Delaney’s not good news.

*

Alicia can barely breathe, and they’re still half-clothed. Kalinda nips at the curve of her neck, her breastbone, grazes past her achingly tight nipples down to her navel before coming back to latch onto her breast. Alicia wants air, but she wants Kalinda more.

Kalinda’s mouth on hers is fierce, but she’s fingering Alicia slowly, tentatively, as if she can’t quite believe what she’s doing.

Alicia doesn’t want to come, isn’t ready for Kalinda’s mouth and fingers to stop, wants just five more minutes, but her body won’t listen, and Kalinda’s thumb is right, just right there, and she shudders and bites down hard.

It shouldn’t, shouldn’t be so good, is what she thinks when she comes.


End file.
